Young people, children and teens especially, are drawn to leaders who have integrity and who practice and speak truth. They have acute noses for hypocrisy and abhor the insincere. Consider how teens and young adults were drawn to Pope John Paul II with millions of them coming to his World Youth days.
Bill Strickland, a neighbor and friend of mine, processed that transparent integrity, and when my young family sat behind his in church, my chest swelled with pride that I knew the Stricklands, and I expected that one day my family would be like his. Bill was strict with the kids, and expected great things from them. He was also demanding of himself. His character, moral strength, and integrity, did not go unnoticed in the community. When Bill Strickland said something to his neighbor, friend, co-worker or family, they listened; everyone knew what he had to say was worthwhile and true. He proved it’s no accident that character and charisma are similar words. Bill used that charisma to guide, inspire, and motivate his family.
I didn’t know it then, but expectation is the other half of good parenting; wedded to integrity, these two virtues will produce outstanding progeny. Expecting your kids to do well is the basis upon which good children are built. Tell your children often what you expect of them, and back it up by expecting no less from yourself. So often I hear parents say they are happy with their grade school kids but, “I don’t know what I’ll do with them when they are teens!” Such parents are programming their kids to be problem teenagers. Better for all if they would say, “I can’t wait for my son to get his drivers license. He is always so responsible and mature. I know I’ll be able to trust him.”
But, your expectations must be realistic. Only frustration can come from setting unattainable goals. However, we must always expect our kids to be well behaved and if we have pre-programmed them with the behavior we expect they, most likely, will deliver.