Friday evening Mary and I had the pleasure of taking our 15 y/o grandson to dinner. When I picked him up he was quick to tell me he was reading Messengers in Denim for his Advance Placement English class, and was doing a book report on it. But first he told me he had found an error on page 196 where I had “personal” instead of “personnel”. Of course he was right and I will let the publisher know so he can change it in the next printing.
Then he questioned me about my dislike of sleep-overs. “What about a person who does not have friends who do the things you mentioned that can happen in a sleep-over?” he asked. I had to admit he had a point and referred him to my blog of March 18. But I cautioned him that sleep-overs like any other party need to allow only invited guests. Again he agreed. He also agreed that too many times sleep-overs become “wakes” although I had to explain wakes to him.
Dinner was a wonderful treat. He loved the shrimp scampi with grilled bread appetizer, followed by baked shrimp. And, I think, he enjoyed the company almost as much as we did. We even splurged for dessert; who wouldn’t love apple pie with ice cream? It was fun just to see him “chow-down”like our sons did years ago. What a great kid!
When we were home I went to work in my study and he soon came in with his book and asked if he could ask me a question. He then opened the book to page 122, “You said here that: ‘If your friend is using drugs or alcohol, you should tell his or her parents, the school counselor, and the police.'” Then he asked, “What if you aren’t positive they are using?”
Once again, a teenager asked a question without a cut and dried answer. We discussed various possible actions, including asking your friend directly if he was a user, as well as discussing it with other member of his family. He had done that and the friend denied use, and his twin sister and older sister said they didn’t think he was using. So, we concluded that unless there is good evidence that his friend is a user he shouldn’t do anythng except keep up his vigilance.
I was pleased that he felt comfortable first, in questioning me about the sleep-overs, and more importantly sharing his concern with me about his friend. I wonder if he would have been able to do that without access to Messengers.