Today let’s try a little “tongue in cheek.”
If there is anything we all like, it’s a chronic liar; so here are5 ways to teach your child to lie.
Number 5: Make excuses for your child’s misbehavior. If he acts up in public or when you are with friends apologize for him and say in a loud voice “He never acts like this at home. It’s just that he’s tired or feels lonely, or wants to go home.” Any excuse will do!
Number 4: When you see him do something wrong or strongly suspect he did something he shouldn’t have done, don’t confront him. Instead ask, “Did you pull puppy’s tail?” or “Did you write on this wall?” or “Did I just hear you sass Grandma?” He will not want to admit it, so it will be easy for him to lie. Then you can have a nice argument – another thing all parents love.
Number 3: Praise him a when no praise is due! When he comes off of the soccer field or the basketball court without having been within a foot of the ball call out in a loud voice: “Here comes the world’s best soccer / basketball player!” That for sure will boost his self-esteem and let him know you are either soccer illiterate or a complete dunce.
Number 2: Be direct. Say, “If the phone is for me tell them I’m not here!” If he wants to go to a PG-13 movie and he is only 11 or 12, say, “Tell them you’re 13. They won’t check.” If he doesn’t have his home work done, say, “Tell your teacher you were sick!”
And the number 1 way to teach your kid to lie: Lie to them!! Tell them with smoke on your breath that you quit smoking, or tell them you love carrots even though you never eat them. Tell them how important it is to go to church, then drop them off and go have breakfast while they worship! Protect them from the truth by every means possible. If Grandma has cancer you don’t want to frighten your middle school kids so just tell them she has a virus. After all, don’t viruses cause cancer?
Teaching kids to lie is just like teaching them to tell the truth. Do what you want them to do! Seriously, it’s simple, kids do what they hear and see their parents do. All kids want to be like their parents!