How can we protect our kids and keep them safe without making them wimps? Or can we?
One of parenting’s biggest responsibilities is to protect their kids. On the surface one might ask, “What could be easier?” But, in truth it is a very complex issue.
We bring our babies home from the hospital in a state of the art infant car-seat, insist that big toddlers sit in a booster seat, and force our children to wear seat belt. These are easy decisions. If we forget any of them, the police will help us remember! But, I know one pediatrician who calls babies who spend too much time in infant seats, “slop pail babies.” That’s me! I worry that kids spend too little time in their parent’s arms and not enough time observing and interacting with their surroundings while at home. It’s so easy just to keep them in the infant seat between trips to the car and the crib. Some kids even sleep in the omnipresent seat! These unfortunate ones don’t have a chance to experience life’s freedom and often have delayed crawling, and walking.
Do we let our kids play football, or is soccer safer? How do we protect kids from head injury while playing soccer? Should we require football or motorcycle helmets for all our youth soccer players? Maybe kids should not be allowed to play either of these sports. Basketball is safer! Really? A teen I know ruptured his spleen playing basketball. Surgeons had to remove it to keep him from bleeding to death. And did you know that the most dangerous sport for college kids is women’s gymnastics? Life actually is a contact sport that doesn’t come with a helmet.
Some pediatricians think that kids should be encouraged to have unstructured play out of doors, even in hot or cold weather! That’s me again! But, you ask, what if they get kidnapped? What if they get sunburned, dehydrated, frostbitten or for heaven’s sake, bitten by an insect or a snake?
With all these worries, let’s have a look at some of the most common concerns parents have and at their real risks!
Will your kid be kidnapped?
In 2006, according to the US Dept of Justice, almost 800,000 kids under age 18 were reported missing. Unbelievable as it seems that’s more than 2,000 each and every day! Of these, 203,900 were abducted by a family member usually the non-custodian parent; 58,000 were by acquaintances of the child or family, the other 450,000 were run-a-ways, or so called “throw away” kids – kids thrown out of the house by one of the parents. Only 115 were “stereotypical” abductions. Of them, 53% were found alive. Still, it’s scary for both parent and child to think about, So, what’s a parent to do? Here are some other concerns.
Will they be struck by lightning?
Although 2011 was a horrific year for tornado deaths across the country, with more than 500 people killed, only 26 died from lightning strikes. That’s less than 6% of the 432 people killed in 1942 when our population was about half of what it is today. The reason given for the decline is that people have been educated about how to avoid being struck.
Will they be gunned down?
According to the FBI’s most recent Uniform Crime Reports, 120 kids were non-accidentally killed by people with guns in 2006; 115 in 2007; 116 in 2008, 114 in 2009 and 96 in 2010. (I do not have data from 2011 or 2012.) And just under 3,000 kids are accidently killed each year by people with guns.
Maybe second hand smoke will get them!
Every year in the USA second hand smoke causes between 150,000 and 300,000 case of lover respiratory infections, bronchitis or pneumonia, in children under 18 months of age. And smoking causes more than 440,000 deaths of Americans of all ages every year!
How dangerous is riding in a car?
It’s also worrisome to note that every year, according to the CDC, more than 1,300 children under age 14 die as occupants in motor vehicle crashes in the United States, and approximately 185,000 are injured. That’s four deaths every single day. And the death rate is even higher for teens. In 2010, seven teens ages 16 to 19 died every day in motor vehicle accidents. After age 14 motor vehicle accident are the most common cause of death for teens.
Will your child drown?
Drowning is the second most common cause of death in children age 1-14. Last summer 137 kids drown in pools or spas in the USA. In2004 3,308 people including children died of accidentally drowning.
My thinking is that with all those things to worry about most parents should go insane before their kids talk. So,why not just worry about the things you can actually control. Here are some sensible suggestions.
Keep all guns locked away from your kids, or out of your house: if you have guns in your home, make sure all family members have had courses in gun safety; don’t smoke; wear your seatbelts and make sure your infants, children, and teens always wear theirs; drive safely; insist your teens take drivers education course and prove to you as well as their instructors that they are safe drivers; know where your kids are and whom they are with at all times. INsist you and your kids wear seat belts, bike helmets and any other standard sport’s safety equipment. Teach them to be “street smart”. The best way to avoid child abductions is stay married to the children’s other parent, and maintain a “healthy relationship” with your kids at every age. Have your kids learn to swim before school age, and do not let them swim in an unguarded pool until they are certified to be life-guards.
These simple things will take care of most parents concerns. Yet, they will not prevent such horrific tragedies as the Sandy Hook shooting or the theater shooting in Colorado. So, how do we talk to our kids about them? Talk with them the same way as you would talk with them about the storm that destroyed New Orleans, the kid who was run over crossing the street, or about yesterday’s birthday party. Don’t act scared, and don’t scare them! Answer their questions when they ask, and know that unless you keep them hidden in a closet, alone, all day and night, they will hear about these tragedies. If they don’t ask questions you should ask them if they heard about such and such, and wait for their answer. If they have heard ask them what they think. let them answer, then let them know what you think. Be sure not to make a “big deal” about it in their lives.
For more discussion about talking with kids about tragic events go to C. Lee Reed’s blog Helicopter Mom and Plane Dad at: http://www.helicoptermomandjustplanedad.com/. They have asked me to do a blog on the subject. I’ll let you all know when it will be posted. In the meantime go to their site and subscribe. It’s a good one; well worth reading.
No place can be free of all hazards, so do what you think is a balance between risk and reward. And remember if you want maximum security you will only find it in a maximum security prison. Don’t go there!!!
Yes, I believe we can keep our kids safe from most common accidents, but it takes education, vigilance, and effective parenting.
Oh, yes, please send this post and C. Lee Reeds link to your friends who have kids or might be thinking about becoming parents! Thanks!