We
have an epidemic of youth violence in Nashville, not as bad as many cities, but worse than others. Our new mayor outlined goals she has to reduce that violence. Below is an op. ed. I wrote for our newspaper “The Tennessean”. It was printed as I wrote it in Sunday’s e-version of the Tennessean, but the paragraphs in bold were left out of the print edition.
——————————————————–
I wish to commend Mayor Megan Barry for her desire to reduce youth violence through the goals she has set for our great city, and thank Frank Daniels III for his column “Can Nashville restore hope for at-risk youth?“ on April 3.
Hopefully, working toward the mayor’s goals will be fruitful, but I’m afraid she has failed to attack the true causes of this violence epidemic. Too many of our youth lack character. Unfortunately, so do their role models and so many of the rest of us.
New York Times columnist and Harvard teacher David Brooks, in his book “The Road to Character,” talks about two types of character: “résumé character,” which he defines as the traits we acquire to make ourselves hirable, popular or electable, and “eulogy character,” the traits that cause people to do what is right, not wrong; difficult, not convenient; helpful to others, rather than to ourselves; and selfless, not selfish.
Mayor Barry concentrates on developing the very important résumé character, but those who choose violence as a way of life lack eulogy character. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. demonstrated his eulogy character by teaching non-violence.
Eulogy character is having a moral compass. Eulogy character is learned from role models who possess it — parents, teachers, preachers and friends who know right from wrong and show it in the way they live. We need male and female role models who possess a moral compass!
Kids need to learn that there are some things and actions that are right and some that are wrong, and there are some absolutes. If parents are men and women of character they will appreciate schools and churches supporting them. If parents aren’t of character, the community, as represented by the schools, needs to teach them. Character traits or values are not Christian or Jewish, not even deistic; they are truths held by all civilized nations.
They are best represented by the Ten Commandments, which should be displayed in all classrooms and studied in every grade from first to 12th (parents who are atheists can omit the ones pertaining only to God).
We as a people have not demonstrated much eulogy character. Let’s take a look at what we are teaching with our lifestyle.
How can we expect kids to honor their father and mother when so many of them don’t even know who their father is, and others have more than one father or mother? One boy told me he had more stepfathers than shirts. TV is especially noted for demeaning fathers and making them look stupid. We are starting to see the same thing regarding mothers. We teach that it’s OK not to respect fathers or mothers.
We celebrate violence and killing in movies, on TV and in video games. We make killing a baby while it’s still in its mother’s womb legal and allow minor girls to obtain an abortion without parental permission. We see our legislatures wanting to make physician-assisted suicide legal. We have no respect for life; killing is OK.
“We celebrate couples who commit adultery in movies, TV, newspapers, in our schools and in our communities. We expect our teens to have sex because “they can’t control themselves,” so we pass out condoms in schools and have laws allowing doctors to treat minors for STDs, but forbid them from telling the kid’s parents. We teach that adultery and fornication are OK, too.
Unfortunately we must tell our kids that “everybody steals, so lock up everything. Don’t trust anyone.” If everyone steals, then it must be OK. The crime is getting caught.
Our politicians on both sides of the aisle lie so much that 70-80 percent of people in their own party don’t believe what they say. Yet we vote for these liars and send them into office. We teach that lying is OK.
Finally, we covet everything we see. Advertisements show us all the things we feel we deserve and should have. Credit cards let us own things without paying for them, or at least delaying payment. Everyone knows our country is almost $20 trillion in debt. Why should we care if we have a credit card debt? Lesson: It’s OK to covet.
Only when we all concentrate on eulogy character will we be able to live in peace with ourselves, our neighbors and other nations. It must start at the top!” *
I recommend Mayor Barry and the city council read “The Road to Character” by David Brooks. Anyone else interested in learning more about character should read it, too.
Good luck, Mayor Barry!
Dr. Parnell Donahue was named the 2014 Senior Pediatrician of the Year by the Tennessee Chapter of the American Academy of Pediatrics. He is the author of a book on parenting teenagers, Messengers in Denim, The Amazing Things Parents Can Learn from Teens; a general parenting book, Tools for Effective Parenting, and the blog www.parentingwithdrpar.com. He lives in Brentwood with his wife, Mary, and their dog, Frosty.
*This quoted part is what was left out.