Jean seemed unusually calm as she looked across the desk of Dr. Samuel Phillips, Dean of the University Medical College but inside her heart was pounding with anticipation. She smiled as she studied a family picture posed on the desk. A sophisticated looking, middle-age woman sitting beside Dr. Phillips, two well dressed, beautiful, young women standing next to two handsome men, and six delightful kids smiling at the world filled the gold plated frame.
The good dean noticed her smile, “Tell me Miss Flanders, how do you plan to be a wife, mother and physician, and do a good job at any of them, let alone all of them?”
This true story took place in the mid-seventies when few women were admitted to medical school. I met Jean some 20 years later. We became friends and she told this story to me.
Dr.’s grin and the tenor of the question set Jean’s adrenaline pumping and, in fact, aroused her anger. She moved slightly forward in her chair and leaned toward him. Staring him in the eye she asked, “How do you manage to be a husband, a dad, and a physician?” She swallowed and added, “Dad’s are important, too!”
Dr. Phillips stared at Jean. Time stood still. Finally, he replied, “Of course you’re right.”
Less than a week later Jean was admitted to Dr. Phillips medical school. She graduated with honors, and became a compassionate and wonderful pediatrician. She advanced to a leadership position and became Physician in Charge of one of the countries largest children’s health care centers.
Jean was way ahead of her time, as a doctor, a spokesperson for woman’s equality, and the importance of fathers. But, this post is not about Jean, it’s about the importance of dads.
With Sunday being Father’s Day, let’s look at a few of thing good dads do and how they affect kids. The following points are taken from an article in the June 2016, on-line issue of the AAP journal, Pediatrics.
Benefits start early, very early. Father involvement during pregnancy correlates with mothers being 1.5 times more likely to receive first-trimester prenatal care and with reductions in prematurity and infant mortality. In a study comparing father skin-to-skin care with conventional cot care during the first 2 hours after birth, newborn infants in the father skin-to-skin group cried less, became drowsy sooner, and had less rooting, sucking, and wakefulness.
Having a father move out of the house by 3 years of age was associated with changes in infant temperament, irregular schedule,and difficult infant behavior.
Father involvement in the early childhood years is associated with positive child developmental and psychological outcomes over time. When fathers are more involved (caring, playing, communicating) in infancy, children have decreased mental health symptomatology at 9 years of age.
During adolescence, several recent national longitudinal studies have shown that father involvement is associated with a decrease in the likelihood of adolescent risk behaviors – more strongly for boys than girls. Father engagement is correlated with enhanced cognitive development, reduced behavioral problems in male adolescents, decreased psychological problems in female adolescents, and decreased delinquency and economic disadvantage in families of low socioeconomic status.
Fathers can now be seen to have a role expanded far beyond that of stereotypic disciplinarian, breadwinner, and masculine role model to that of care provider, companion, teacher, role model for parenting, and supportive spouse. The unique and complementary role of fathers is beginning to be understood.
There are many more paragraphs we could write about dads; many books have been filled with their importance. Those of you who have been reading my posts know how important I think dads are. Just let me say once again, be the person you want your kids to become. It’s as easy as that!
I want to give a “Shout out” to all fathers on this Fathers’ Day, and to Dr Jean – although that’s not her real name nor was her dean Dr. Phillips. But the story is true and “Jean” has long been a dear friend of mine.
Have a great day, everyone, and may God Bless You!
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