Last week I saw two young men (boys really) who were planning on joining the US Military. They were both pleasant, handsome, happy boys. Neither had a history of encounters with the police, not even a ticket, nor ever used drugs or alcohol. They both did well in school and played sports. I was excited that I had a chance to meet both of them, and qualify them to become members of the greatest military in the history of the universe. But there was one big difference.
When I meet kids like them, my heart swells with pride because they remind me of the many pleasures I had as a dad. I like to think other parents feel the same way.
To let these kids know how I feel about them I frequently ask them how they would like to have a son like them. The first boy, who lived with both his parents, answered hesitantly, “That would be OK, but I’d rather he be more like my dad.”
“Sounds like your dad is a pretty special man,” I answered.
“Sure is”, he replied. “He has had so many experiences and gone through so much stuff that he has lots of wisdom.”
I kid you not! That is exactly how this 17 year old boy thought about his father. “Well,” I answered. “In twenty years I bet you’ll be just like your dad, and your son will be you. Did you ever hear someone say ‘I looked in the mirror and my dad looked back?’”
He assured me he had. I went on to explain what is true for looks is also true for character. His only reply was “I hope so.”
I added, “I bet he’s even more proud of you than I am, and that’s a lot!”
The other boy lived with him mom and an older brother. Dad was not in the picture, but big brother and Mom did a great job of mentoring and modeling good character. Before I learned he was without a father, I asked him the question I posed to the previous lad.
“How would you like to have a son like you?”
“That would be great!” he replied. We talked a bit longer then I told him I was so proud of what he had done and what he planned on doing and added, “I bet your dad is as proud of you as I am.”
Mistake on my part. His eyes hit the floor and he answered, “I never met my dad. My big brother is the only dad I ever had.”
I told him how sorry I was about that and said, “But, I feel even sorrier for you dad, He had the chance to know someone as great as you , and he blew it! What a loss for him. Can you imagine having a son like you and not see him grow up? Never see him play football? Never enjoy watching him mow the lawn? Clean tables at a restaurant or stock shelves at the store? Never enjoy him having fun with his friends? I’ve been a son and I’ve been a dad. Being a son was OK, but being a dad was the greatest thing I have ever experienced.
“Keep being the man you have become and I know you will some day have a son just like you. I’m sorry I will never meet him.”
We talked a few more minutes, I told him he was qualified to serve in the military, thanked him and extended my hand. He grabbed it but threw his other arm around my shoulder and gave the old man a firm hug.
Kids like these two keep me stay grounded; they never let me forget how lucky I am to have been a dad, and to have spent my lifetime taking care of God’s wonderful children.
If you have kids, let them know how much you love them and how proud you are of them. And if your parents are still living tell them the same. Remember to Be the person you want your child to become. They will become you or whomever fills your shoes. But whatever you do don’t miss out on their lives and the opportunity to see them become you!