Sunday my wife Mary, and I were invited to talk about “Parenting and Cultural Change” at one of Brentwood Methodist’s Sunday School classes.
One of the members who had read part of Tools for Effective Parenting remarked that the book was so different from what he thought it would be. “It’s more about doing the right thing than pediatrics. I thought pediatricians only treated sick kids, did physicals, and gave shots. It’s more of a how to live a good life than how to parent, isn’t it?”
“What a great observation,” I answered. “It sounds like you have the message 100 per cent right! It is a how to be a parent book not a how to parent book. I’m glad you noticed that.”
Pediatrics, like our listener noted, is changing; and it must! Let me just note some pretty telling statistics about kids, parents, and our society. Every day in the USA 1,825 kids are confirmed as abused or neglected; four abused kids die each day. Five kids commit suicide, seven are killed by firearms, 4,500 kids are arrested daily. Almost 3,000 kids drop out of high school every day, over 16,000 others are suspended, and 4,475 babies are born to unwed mothers!
Something has to change! I spoke last Fall to the Irish and American Pediatric Society and challenged pediatricians to teach people how to be better parents! If we pediatricians would dedicate ourselves to learn more about good parenting we could do a better job of teaching parents. We should be able to do what we did when immunizations were first introduced. Measles, Rubella, and H. Influenza meningitis are now so rare that many pediatricians do not see a single case in all their training! The A.A.P.’s “Back to Sleep” initiative cut the incidence of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome in half. We can do the same to the morbidity and mortality forced upon our kids, our families, and our world by our changing culture.
You might ask, and you should, “Who died and appointed you Parenting Guru?” I don’t pretend to know all the answers, but Mary and I have raised four very successful kids. I have spent half a century studying kids, families, and society, and I have been instructing parents for many decades. I know that something has to change or our society will not survive. I ask your forbearance and your help in making the changes.
Reading Tools for Effective Parenting will not, by itself, be enough. But, it’s a beginning! Start a parenting book club. Discard any book that does not talk about character building. Check out some of the parenting blogs. There are amny very good ones (I started to name some but then I was afraid I would leave out some really good ones, so I’ll let you look for yourselves).
Ask your minister to help you start a parenting club in your church, synagogue, or temple. Keep learning, keep evolving, and keep loving your spouse, that last one is one of the most important, and remember to be the kind of person you want your child to become.
And finally if you find something you like, perhaps Tools for Effective Parenting, tell your friends! If you have specific questions, ask someone, don’t be afraid others will think you don’t know anything, find out and do. You can ask me questions on this blog or on my website, https://parentingwithdrpar.com/