Those of you who have been following my friend Jean, know the story about Luke.
For those who don’t know Luke, here is a short version of this regular, ordinary 16 y/o youth. He came for his annual physical and revealed during the review of health habits that his dad would kill him if he ever smoked, drank, or had sex.
I asked, “Your dad would “kill you?”
He said, “Oh, no, no. But, it would probably kill Dad if I did those things.
Luke’s dad was the kind of father who talked with, listened to, and shared his values with his son. Because Luke loved and respected his dad, he adopted his morals.
Jean goes on to discuss some of the research that shows kids do listen to their parents and do what they think their parents want them to do. The other side of that sentence is that if kids don’t know what their parents think or want them to do they won’t do it! Kind of like “If you don’t know where you’re going you’ll probably end up somewhere else.”
Luke’s story always reminds me that in grade school we were taught “Fear of the Lord” as a religious tenet. I couldn’t understand that and I was upset because I thought we should love the Lord not fear Him.
Luke taught me that fear of the Lord is like “fear” of his dad, it is not really fear at all, but love and respect. So much love and respect, that we don’t want to offend them.
When I tell parents they should teach their kids to “Fear” them, they cringe until I explain this fear is applied love and respect!
Think about it! And, if you didn’t read Jeans last post do it now, please! http://www.parentingskillsblog.com/