I hope the statistics didn’t frighten or bore you, but that they surprised you. It is so easy to think our kids always do the right thing and there is no risk of them getting in trouble. But, we cannot protect our kids from themselves or anyone else if we are ostriches. As horrid as these statistics sound, there is much a parent can do. According to former Congresswoman Susan Molinari, chair of The Century Council, “We parents are the most significant influence in [a] teens’ decision to drink or not to drink.” The mother of two girls, she emphasizes the need for parents to talk with their kids about drinking as well as drug and tobacco use. Parents, she continued, “need to have the conversation early and often.” A new survey of 1,000 American teens ages 12 to 17 conducted by The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA) found the following: “[Only] one in four teens in America (27%, about 6.5 million) lives with “hands-on” parents, parents who have established a household culture of rules and expectations for their teen’s behavior and monitor what their teens do, such as the television shows they watch, the CDs they buy, what they access on the Internet, and where they are spending evenings and weekends. These teens are at one quarter the risk of smoking, drinking, and using drugs as teens with “hands-off” parents.” That last sentence says it all, but some adults and parents do not take much of a stand against drugs and alcohol. Fred Hechinger in Fateful Choices, a book published by the Carnegie Council on Adolescent Development, states: “During the 1960s and 1970s, many adults, wanting to be on the youth side of the generation gap, publicly played down the harmful effects of drugs, or even urged their acceptance. Unfortunately, such opinions were widely expressed by certain university faculty members, psychologists, and others who had reputations as experts or otherwise commanded the respect of young people. They contradicted those who warned about drugs’ potential dangers and sometimes even pressed the matter of drug use as a civil liberties issue. Such misguided voices have largely fallen silent, but their effect lingers.” (For references to the above quotes, see Tools for Effective Parenting, page123-125.) Now that we all have our heads out of the sand let’s get our hands on parenting. Some one once said that by the time a person has been a parent for a dozen years the last thing he wants to do is parent a teenager. But, being a hands off friend of your teen is not effective parenting. Are your kids some of the fortunate 25% of those who have “hands on” parents? If not, now is the time to change that! Stay tough and fair and be the person you want your teen to become. Be sure to visit the next post and read about Sharon, a girl who, unfortunately, followed her parent’s lead. I have had some inquiries asking where to find the books from which these posts were taken. If you want to purchase either one follow these links to https://parentingwithdrpar.com//store.