Last Sunday I saw love. Not Eros, the sexual love between parents, but philia, the kind of love between parents and their children. In this case it was a father’s love felt by his son.
I was in church and as I was leaving my pew to receive communion I saw a family across the aisle from me. Dad was on the outside and exited the pew first. He stepped back to allow his wife to exit. She took a step forward and their 12 or 13 year old stepped out behind her. Dad gently, probably unknowingly, put his hand on the boy’s shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze.
I wish you all could have seen the smile that came across that boy’s face as his dad touched him. Dad didn’t see it, Mom didn’t see it. I don’t think anyone, other than me, saw it. His smile flashed across his face until his whole face glowed. His being seemed to light up, and he stood with pride. Dad removed his hand and they both walked prayerfully up the aisle.
All humans have a basic need to be touched. Babies who are not cuddled, carried, and caressed do not do well. Years ago doctors learned that babies die from lack of touch. Affectionate touch tells us the world is a safe, secure and warm—much like our mother’s uterus. Babies who survive without enough touch become troubled teens and adults.
All of us, not just babies, but all people need touch. Appropriate, affectionate touch comforts us, reduces stress, helps us stay physically and mentally healthy, and prepares us for life’s challenges.
Scripture tells us Jesus used touch often. He touched the blind men’s eyes and, “And their eyes were opened.” Matthew 9:30.
Again Matthew 20:34, “Jesus touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight.”
Peter’s mother-in-law was lying in bed with fever. Jesus “touched her hand, the fever left her, and she arose and waited on her.” Matthew 8:15.
Jesus approached the deaf man who had a speech impediment, “He put his finger into the man’s ears and, spitting, touched his tongue…. And immediately his ears were opened and his speech impediment removed….” Mark 6:33-35.
Luke 7:13-16 tells us Jesus touch the coffin of the widow’s son and “And the dead man stood up and began to speak….”
There are many other examples of Jesus using touch to perform miracles, but last Sunday I saw a father touch his son. I’ll never forget this boy’s reaction to his father’s gentle touch. The effect was a miracle to me.