Friday night my wife and I invited two of our sons and their families in for dinner. What a great time we had; and, if I have to say so myself, the food was delicious, too. The five grandchildren included boys age 17, 15, and 12 and two 14 year old girls. After dinner the 15 y/o suggested we play charades. All the kids agreed as did the parents. Well, not quite, one mother thought is was a little late, it seems we had sat at the table a bit too long, but she changed her mind when she saw the enthusiasm of the others. She did a great “fly” impersonation to the laughter of all as her team-mates shouted “Lord of the Flies.” Everyone enjoyed the game; especially the boys – we won!
During the evening and especially during the charades game I couldn’t help thinking how much fun it is to have teenagers around. Yet, so many people distrust teens and expect nothing but trouble from them. Our media tell us teens are irresponsible and rebellious. Psychologists and psychiatrists, who by the way, only see troubled families and teens, go on TV with the worst kids they can find and tell us how to deal with them. Our newspapers and other news media give ink to school drop outs, teen pregnancy, gangs, rape, murder and other violence. I once saw a headline, “Teen Sex is New Norm.” Soon kids begin to think that being rebellious, having sex, doing drugs, and dropping out of school is normal, and to get along in a family is abnormal.
However,my experience of being a teenager, raising four kids, and being doctor to thousands of teens these past forty years tells me a different story. Most teens, like people of any age, are great; only a few spoil the bunch. But well behaved teens do not sell newspapers or boost TV ratings.
Raising children is simply a self fulfilling prophecy; they become what you program them to be. If you think your kids will be problems when they become teens, they will. And if you think they will be fun, happy, engaged, contributing individuals, they will. They become you! So be the person you want your kids to become.