Family ready for a great day!
One morning last week I saw two 17 year old boys whose dads had committed suicide. One was 13 when his dad decided he had had enough, the other candidate was 17 when his dad left the planet. Later on that same day I met a young man of 19 who had attempted to hang himself when he was 16. Fortunately, the anchor holding the rope to the rafter broke away and saved this boy’s life.
I returned home with a heavy heart only to hear on the evening news that 20 US veterans take their lives every day – most of them between the ages of 24 – 29. That evening I read a report in the August 31 online issue of the journal JAMA Psychiatry. The investigators studied all the people born in Denmark between 1967 and 1997 – over 1.7 million to see if there were a relationship between parental mental illness and suicide or violent crime in their children. They found that any and all parental mental illnesses increased the risk with a stronger associations in regards to violence stronger for female than for male offspring, but little sex difference in risk was found for offspring suicide attempt. They recommended further study.
Latter in the week I learned it was National Suicide Prevention Week so I want to add my thoughts. My first thought is that if you are depressed or too “nervous” about things to enjoy life, see someone in the mental health field and get help! Remember, you influence your kids in so many ways and studies have shown that treating a depressed parent also treats his/her children. Don’t be afraid to talk with your kids about your feeling of depression and how you are getting help. They will most likely already know you are depressed, and will be delighted to know you are taking steps to get better. They will also learn that if they are or become depressed they can talk with you about getting help. Nothing beats honest family communication!
Suicide is a terrible thing; but if it is recognized early, it can often be prevented. As caring parents, friends, and professionals, we should be alert to these signs of depression which usually precede suicide:
- Sad, anxious, or empty mood.
- Declining school performance.
- Loss of interest in sports or other social activities.
- Loss of pleasure in things meant to be pleasurable.
- Sleeping too little or too much.
- Change in appetite or weight loss.
The American Society of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry notes these added pre-suicidal behaviors: Teens may:
- Complain of being a bad person or feeling rotten inside.
- Give verbal hints with statements such as: “I won’t be a problem for you much longer,” “nothing matters,” “it’s no use,” and “I won’t see you again.”
- Put his or her affairs in order: give away favorite possessions, clean his or her room, throw away important belongings, etc.
- Become suddenly cheerful after a period of depression.
- Have signs of psychosis (hallucinations or bizarre thoughts).
If a teen you know shows these signs, get them some professional help while you still can. Don’t wait until they get confused and take their life into their own hands; it may be too late. With help, suicide is preventable.
You can educate yourself more on teen suicide by going to www.mentalhealth.org/suicideprevention. It is the Web site for The National Strategy for Suicide Prevention (NSSP) which represents clinicians, researchers, and survivors around the nation, including the Centers for Disease Control and National Institutes of Health.
Sorry for talking about such a tragic problem, but it’s a conversation parents and families need to have now and then. Talking about suicide won’t make your kids more likely to try it, it will have the exact opposite effect.
Have a good week, and remember these beautiful fall days are great times to talk you family for a visit to a park or other outdoor activity. Remember to leave cell phones and other talking machines home. Everyone needs a break from them now and then!