While working at the Military Entrance Station this morning I saw a 19 year old man who was applying for entrance into the Air Force. After reviewing his medical history and his health habits I felt he was an excellent candidate, and I would be proud to have him in “my” Air Force; but I would also be proud to have his as my son. So I said, “Your dad must be so proud of you!”
“Naw”, he replied. “He walked out on us when I was three; I don’t remember ever seeing him.”
I know my face dropped, as I could not contain my disappointment for this young man. “What a fool he was,” I said, pulling my self together. “He missed knowing you! How awful!”
But, these kids never stop amazing me. “That’s what I think, too.” He said with an obvious forced smile. “But, my mom and I get along OK without him.”
“Well,” I told him. “I’ve been a son and I’ve been a dad, and I know that what you missed as a son is nothing compared to what he missed as a dad.”
I can’t imagine anything as sad as a man not knowing his own son! The pleasure we dads feel with their every accomplishment is unmatched by anything we accomplish ourselves. Many years ago I saw a high school runner who won the state meet the year before and his dad, even-though they lived in the same city, had never seen him run. I went to his next meet. I know he enjoyed me being there, but I enjoyed it far more.
Even though the troop this morning told me he and Mom were doing fine, you and I both know he missed knowing his dad. What’s more important, boys need dads! Dads, by their very presence help boys learn how to be men! Dads teach boys how to treat women, how to work, how to play, how to love, and how to live. They teach their sons right from wrong, not through lectures, but through their actions. This morning’s boy (young man) lost out on learning things from his father, and perhaps that is a good thing, I just hope he didn’t learn how to abandon his son!
Sociologists tell us that absent dads are one of the biggest causes of delinquency and school failures. And, my experience tells me they are right.What gets into these dads, and there are a lot of them, that they think they can just dump their offspring like they might drop their shirts at the laundry and forget to pick them up. Pray for them, they are missing so much.
Read more about parenting in Messengers in Denim, available at http://www.amazon.com/ or your favorite book store!