Parenting Matters, or Does It? (Part one)

Last week I had the honor and privilege of speaking to the Irish and American Paediatric Society (Note the Irish spelling of pediatrics) meeting in Washington, DC.

It was a very good meeting; I learned so much. After my talk the directors of the meeting, Dr. Matthew Eberly and Dr. Marty Weisse, asked me to forward a copy of my talk to the membership. Which I will do.

It was a short talk and I thought you would all enjoy hearing the stories I told the audience and the parenting proverbs they illustrated. I will publish them in the next three posts. You may have already read some of them, but the lessons are worth reading again. Please forward these posts to any one you think is interested in being great parents. Thank you.

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There is a Native American proverb which reads:

Tell me a fact and I’ll learn, tell me a truth and I’ll believe, but tell me a story and it will live in my heart forever!

I will tell you some stories of young men who are volunteering to protect our country and our world. Each will touch your heart.

Joe was an admirable lad of 18. He played trumpet in the marching band, varsity baseball, had a GPA of 3.7, didn’t smoke or drink and had a positive attitude with a smiley face to match his personality.

His dad went to life in prison for murder when Joe was five. He had no siblings; he lost his mother to breast cancer when he was 9, and lived with Grandma until she died right after his 15^th birthday, then he moved into an apartment and lived “on his own”. He wanted to join the Navy because he thought he “needed some discipline.”

I asked how he was able to rent an apartment or sigh a contract when he was still a minor. “My uncle is a doctor – chiropractor, and helped me. He said as long as I didn’t get into trouble, I could live alone.”

Uncle trusted him, and proved that trust begets trust and that:

A man is only as good as his word!

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Jason, also 18, was born to a single mother and until age 4 or 5 lived where ever his mom could dump him for the day or night.

He said he had been a really “bad kid” (who could blame him!) he received counseling for his “behavior disorder” and started medication for ADHD before he started school. At age 5 his so called “parent” lost custody and Jason was adopted by a former marine, now a cop, and his wife. They did not believe in counseling, or medication for ADHD. They believed in strict structure and that actions have consequences. Under this family’s care Jason’s behavior changed. His ADHD abated, he became a good student and a good kid. He told me that his dad was the “best dad any kid could have”.

He and his wife knew that: All love is tough love!

Actions speak louder than words.

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Mike, was a handsome 25 y/o guy wanting to join the Marines. He spent his first 16 years in foster homes. He though that he was probably born in a foster home. He changed homes at “least twice a year.”

He found a factory job at age 16, emancipated himself, left foster care, and quit school while still in 9^th grade. By 18 he was into drugs, became an alcoholic, and had been imprisoned twice.

He impregnated his girlfriend before his 19^th birthday, married his child’s mother, the daughter of a preacher, and began to turn his live around. Because he had no idea of who he was, he took his father-in-law’s name. He stopped drinking, smoking, and using drugs.

He told me, “When my son was born, I held him and looked at him all over. I couldn’t believe I had helped make such a beautiful, helpless, baby boy. His eyes were staring at me. All I could think was this baby needs a dad. I looked at those eyes and told him I was his dad and I promised him I’d take care of him. And I have!”

Mike’s baby was 7 years old when I met Mike; by then he had earned his GED. Mom was a “stay at home” mom and had a new baby coming. “I’ll take care of him too!” He boasted.

I wish you could have seen the glow on his face as he shook my hand to leave. “My wife and my baby saved my life!” He exclaimed.

I couldn’t help adding, “The poet says, ‘The child is the father of the man!’”

“Mine sure is.” He offered.

Mike lived the words William Wordsworth wrote two centuries ago, “The child is the father of the man!”

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What do these stories tell us? Check in Sunday!