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n a word, you can’t! Only your child can improve his or her self-esteem!
Sorry to be so bold, but self-esteem comes from one’s self. You can help set the stage for improvement, and you can destroy her self-esteem, but you can’t improve it.
Here’s how to set that very important stage. Let’s say you and your spouse just put up a hoop and gave your child a basketball for his birthday. Shoot some buckets with him. Show him how to shoot a free throw. If you don’t know how, that’s OK, ask a local coach to show him. Then have him shoot some free throws, dribble the ball, and take some shots.
Take him to some ball games or watch the “madness” on TV. Let him see how important the free throw is to a game. Let him know free means free!
Get yourself a ball and when he’s resting tell him you’re going to see if you can make 3, 4, 5, or some number in a row. The take a rest and while you’re sitting in the porch swing watch him go to the line and say I’m going to make 2, 3, 4, some number in a row. Let him try unless he says make 567 or some undoable number, he will sooner or later succeed. When he does he’ll run to you and say, “Guess what! I made 3 in a row! I told you I could do it!” He’ll have improved his self-esteem. If you say, “I knew you could do it because I saw how hard and long you practiced.” He’ll develop more confidence in himself, respect for you and him, and be one small step closer to being a child of character.
But, if you say, “Great! You’re the greatest basketball player in the world! I’m so proud of you!” He’ll think you are a liar or forgot what a good ball played can do. And he’ll be on his way to becoming a self-absorbed, conceited, arrogant, brat with an entitlement attitude.
Be honest always, praise his attitude and his effort when he deserves it; tell him you love to see him play, and watch him blossom.