Last week my wife Mary asked why did I spend so much time writing this blog. It is a fair question and one which perhaps some of you also ask. It takes quite a lot of time and I too, sometimes wonder why I do it. So, let me explain.
Many years ago when I started practicing Adolescent Medicine I was excited that I would be able to influence so many teenagers, especially those who were in trouble. I was soon sorely disappointed because most teens were so “set in their ways” that change was very difficult and in some cases probably impossible. And, likewise, their parents were generally frustrated and also unable or unwilling to change.
My goal then was to help parents plan, when their kids were still infants, how to raise their kids to be men and women of character. That goal was also the reason I agreed with the publisher that Messengers in Denim should be a parenting book. A book which will help parents understand that they are the primary teachers of their children and that their kids will become them. Children learn their values early, usually before the age of 6. Thus, schools are able to reinforce the values a child has learned, but parents, or whoever cares for them as pre-schoolers are the main molders of values.
But my frustration did not end with this revelation.
Parents of newborns and infants are concerned about about the temperature of the baby’s bath water, spitting-up, how many stools the poor kid has each day, and many other immediate problems, not about how their teens will behave. They are really so busy that they don’t have time to think about the teen years. And when they do they fret that their kids will get into trouble and act like the “out of control” teens they read about or see on the News. So many mothers of grade school kids have told me they love their kids now, but they don’t know how they’ll get through the teen years!
Dr. Frank Pittman, a psychiatrist in Atlanta, says that by the time parents have been on the job for 13 years they are tired of parenting and the last thing they want is a teenager. Thirteen years is a long time for being on a 24/7 job. Even the presidency, which is probably not as important of a job as parenting, is limited to eight years!
My goal in this blog is to help parents prepare for and enjoy their kids teen years. With the ultimate goal of teaching those sweet little babies and kids to be men and women of character. That has been my goal for the past 40 years and continues today. I should add that I have had a good deal of success.
This blog alone will not be enough for you. You will also need the help of a faith community, a good school system and friends and family members who are people of character. I will often quote from many of the modern up to date parenting books as well as my book Messengers in Denim, and probably more than once recommend you read it. And, I will ocassionally refer you to my website and many others.
But not everything is about parenting; some blogs will be about events in the world or in my family’s lives that ae fun, funny, or in some cases educational.
My prayer for you is that your kids will grow up to be successful, holy, well respected men and women of character.
I also hope that you will feel this blog is yours as well as mine. Please ask questions, ponder parenting puzzels, and post comments you think will help us reach our common goal of raising men and women of character. The whole world will be grateful.