After my last post on good sports one of my sons sent me a video of an interview with Packer’s quarterback Aaron Rogers. This, he said, is a good example of sportsmanship.
Aaron was asked who would fill in for the injured receivers and would the young inexperienced players be able to contribute.
“They have been well coached,” he said. “And they are ready to play!”
Now after seeing Sunday’s loss, I don’t think anyone could find fault with the way they played. Heck, they won! And I’m sure some nay-stayers are now red-faced. Never mind that, Aaron is a great example of a good supporter of his team mates and a great role model.
Likewise on Saturday Vandy’s quarterback was injured in the second quarter. At half time the reporter asked Vandy Coach James Franklin what was the condition of his injured quarterback.
“OUT!” was his one-word response.
“He’s prepared, and ready. He will take over the offense and we’ll be just fine!” Coach answered with the utmost assurance, and walked away. I admire a man of few words!
What makes these short comments so good? Two things: First assurance that they are ready, and second confidence that they can handle the job.
Kind of like “coaching” our kids in life. Assure them they are competent, and let them know we believe in them. Let me give a quick example.
So often we hear parents say something to the effect that their kids are wonderful now, but who know what the teen years will bring. Or “I trust him now but the teen years scare me!” They often make reference to driving with I’ll never let him/you drive my car.
After dealing with hundreds of families and many, many more teens, I have learned it’s better to start to train your kids to be adults (read teenagers, drivers, college kids, or whatever might worry a parent) when they are still in early grade school, or “boot camp”.
When you are busy and you have to jump in the car to pick up one of the kids or grab a few groceries, why not say aloud to yourself and any kids who might be within ear shot. “Joe, I can’t wait until you get your driver’s license so you can pick up your sister” (or the groceries). And add, “I know you’ll be a good driver because you are so good at _________.” You fill in the blank.
You have assured them that they will be prepared and you believe in them. And best of all, they are really needed. We all have the need to be needed! In short, you have programed them to be a good drivers.
Picture how your kids might feel if they hear you say, “I know I won’t have to worry about Jenny, when she starts high school. She is such a good student and has already proven herself as capable.” As opposed to hearing “I don’t know what I will do with Jenny when she hits high school, she’s a good student now, but you know how kids act when they hit ‘that age’”.
Of course, this also puts the burden of coaching, teaching, training, and educating them in what’s right and wrong, good and bad, acceptable and unacceptable, on you. Remembering all the time that what you say is important, but what you do is a thousand times more visible and easier for them to follow.
In short, as Coach Franklin might say, “Be the person you want your child to become.” You’re the coach, they are the players.