This is written by Debby Jones and taken from her newsletter, Be The Change, Issue 89, February 2013. Enjoy, show it to your kids; it will make you all think!
A young woman went to her grandmother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose. Her grandmother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans.
She let them sit and boil without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her granddaughter, she asked, “Tell me what do you see?” “Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied.
She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they got soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After puling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The granddaughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma. The granddaughter than asked. “What’s the point, grandmother?”
Her grandmother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity—boiling water—but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.
The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.
“Which are you?” she asked her granddaughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?”
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart.
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.
If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trails are their greatest do you elevate to another level?
Debby goes on to say:
I just love this bit of wisdom and to be personal for a moment I so miss the wisdom of the wonderful grandparents who blessed my life.
This story touched me particularly because I have been thinking a lot about your children and I have been asking myself the question what causes some of them to be resilient while others succumb to the pressure?
Definitely we all come into this world with our own challenges. Some we are born into, some we create and some just happen to us. What I’ve noticed is that our children are always watching how we deal with those challenges. We might not realize it but they pick up our every cue. They feel safe when we have hope.
We cannot control all things but we can always control our attitude and how we choose to react to life’s challenges.
Are we the glass half empty or half full type of person?
I know it sounds all like cheap clichés but the problem is our children are watching. They will learn from us as to whether they will be a carrot, egg or coffee.
Please take advantage of this incredible and wonderful time with your children. I believe it can be the most impactful thing you will ever do.
What more can I say. Those of you who have been following this blog or who have read Messengers in Denim, know why I like this post. Thank you Debby.
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